Hi there. How are you?
Not just the immediate “fine, thanks” without thinking about it at all – how are you really?
If we were having coffee today (my coffee cup is quite large these days – how about yours?), I’d tell you that I am working to embrace the “AND” in life – the fact that two opposing versions of things can be true, and in fact completely normal.
For example: we are in a season where we have so much to be thankful for – so much joy, so much sweetness.
The big, gummy smile that Wes gives us throughout a lot of the day (he just learned how to roll from back to front, and he’s SO proud every time he does it and gives the biggest smile).
The enthusiasm and energy (SO much energy) that Riese brings to just about everything she does – this morning comes to mind, as she was riding her bike to school while I walked Wes in the stroller, holding up her legs and going “weeee! this is fun!” while going down a small downhill.
It was the most perfectly beautiful fall morning – the sun shining and the trees changing color.
And – AND.
AND we are completely exhausted.
Lack of sleep is really catching up to us hard. We are still in the midst of the 4 month sleep regression (Wes is 5 months old as of November 1, so I’m hoping we are close to getting longer stretches of sleep again? maybe? please?)
If it’s not one awake it’s the other one awake, and… wait, what was I talking about? Yeah, I have no idea, because my brain isn’t exactly functioning on a high level these days.
Speaking of coffee and only partially functioning brains, earlier this week after one particularly rough night, Matt made coffee and forgot to put a cup underneath.
10 minutes later (distracted by the morning rush of getting Riese ready for school) he came back to find coffee basically all over our dining room.
That’s pretty much where we are right now.
Joy and chaos, overwhelm and exhaustion, rinse and repeat.
Would we have it any other way? No.
Are we incredibly grateful for this life, these LIVES that we’ve been trusted with? Yes, very much yes.
AND also we could do with a little more sleep, a little more time, a little more calm.
But isn’t that how it always is?
If we were having coffee today, which I hopefully would not have spilled all over the floor but can’t make any promises, I would tell you about a book I read recently that I think all moms should read: Motherwhelmed (amazon affiliate link).
I just finished it and it a) gave me a lot to think about, and b) made me feel incredibly seen in the current phase of life that I’m in.
I wonder what mothers could accomplish if modern society (especially in the US, with its embarrassing lack of postpartum support both physically and logistically) were set up to make parenthood more manageable. And if we all stopped competing with and judging each other and instead supported and embraced each other with our whole hearts.
If we were having coffee today (and I’d probably be walking a stroller while enjoying said coffee because the weather has been absolutely phenomenal lately and I love a good stroller walk), I’d tell you that I haven’t started running again postpartum yet.
The last time I went for a run was Christmastime last year – almost a full year with no running, which seems both really sad AND also, honestly, totally fine.
I miss running, AND also I’m really enjoying doing a whole lot of stroller walking instead.
I miss running, AND it’s just not what I need right now. For my current energy levels and also logistically with the kids in the mix, walking feels right and running does not, and that’s okay.
Running will be there when I’m ready, whenever that is.
In the meantime, I’m starting to work on strength training and preparing my body to handle running again, and that feels like a good first step.
If we were having coffee today, I’d tell you I can’t believe we are probably only one month (ish) out from starting solids with Wes. The idea of that feels both really exciting and really tiring, because, you know, MESS.
We’re planning to do baby led weaning (<- aw, baby Riese in that post) again and I need to brush up on it with some reading because it feels like I barely remember anything from Riese at that age.
If we were having coffee, I’d tell you that I just got distracted by a crying baby who needed milk and now I don’t remember what I was going to finish telling you. So, that’s my cue.
Thanks for reading – until next time, friends.
If we were having coffee today, what would you share?
